Back when my wife and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, she published a post on her blog called 25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband, and I published a post on mine called 25 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife.
Surprisingly, I drew criticism for making LOVE the focus of my list, rather than RESPECT. This offended some of my readers, who (rightly) felt that women are every bit as entitled to respect as men.
But while I agree that women deserve respect, I do not believe they crave it. Certainly not in the same way most men do.
The thing women crave most is love.
I’ve been around smart, powerful women my whole life. Usually, they are awash in respect. They find respect wherever they go.
Their talent, intelligence, and wisdom command it.
Their employers respect their hard work and dedication; their colleagues respect their insights and integrity; their church and charitable organization leaders respect their contributions of time and resources to the various causes; their children’s teachers and coaches respect their involvement and commitment; even their neighbors respect their polite disposition and manicured yards.
Respect is all around them.
But love? That is something else entirely.
Love is not so easy to find and often even harder to keep.
For a woman to be loved by a man — deeply, passionately, unconditionally, with all that he is towards all that she is — that is a rare thing indeed.
It’s an ephemeral thing that cannot be earned the way respect can.
But it’s a gift a husband can give to his wife every day of her life. And when he does, it is both beautiful and magical.
This post is excerpted from my new book, 25 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife: A Handbook for Husbands, on sale now. Pick up your copy today and give your wife the LOVE she craves, as well as the RESPECT she deserves.